@Lisa_Laughs_: I don't mind people that stick their noses in the air. It makes it that much easier to trip them or push them down 10 flights of stairs.
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@Jeff_Ross_MD: BREAKING: President Obama shows solidarity with victims in war-torn countries by posting another selfie with celebrities.
@TheDeadfishSays: "Everything the light touches is ours," I tell my son while opening the fridge.
@TravLeBlanc: The first of Jay-Z's 99 problems is the obsessive compulsive disorder that requires him to know his precise number of problems at all times.