@HalfBakedHoney: I don't need a panic room; I can panic perfectly fine anywhere.
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@discountzen: I went to walmart today. I got the cart with three wheels and a hoof. This always happens to me.
@KeithAshers: Being bitten by a radioactive spider made Peter Parker suddenly fluent in karate & gymnastics...you know, just like a real spider.
@TheMichaelRock: Wife: Where are the kids? Me *turns off router* [from down the hallway] HEYYYYYYY!!!! Me: They're in their rooms.