@TattleTSister: "I don't need more than 4 hours of sleep" I say proudly while spooning dish washer detergent into my coffee.
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@jake_lach: When someone walks next to me at the same speed I want to grab their hand and start skipping
@biggsmoke814: Where's Jesus when you need him. There's only 2 fish sticks left and I've got company coming.
@Breadery: Her: What do you like about me? Me: Your crippling self esteem issues have caused you to lower your standards. Her: What? Me: Your eyes