@TattleTSister: "I don't need more than 4 hours of sleep" I say proudly while spooning dish washer detergent into my coffee.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@Izianikapani: My kids don't drive me to drink. Can't wait until they get their license and they can though.
@StephenAtHome: Trump called Kim Jong Un a "smart cookie." That's crazy -- he reminds me more of a "murderous soft cheese."
@ChaseMit: Just want to point out the NRA's plan to stop school shootings is literally the plot of Kindergarten Cop.
@dumbbeezie: "You ruined everything." -People exaggerating when you only ruined like one or two things, tops