@vladchoc: I don't need people. I have potato chips. And unlike people you can enjoy them and then legally throw their crumpled remains into a campfire
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@IRLPepperMD: "You think I'm immature? Well, you know what! Our relationship is-" *holds up imaginary walky-talky* "Chhh-over."
@Dana_Bruno: My dog's pissed cos I buy him Senior food. He won't admit he's older now. So I scratch out the "i" on each can & tell him it's Mexican food.
@jake_likes_naps: [at bar] Gee, I'm so hungry I could eat a horse *nearby horse slams down his whisky* COME ON THEN TOUGH GUY *horse throws the 1st punch*