@heidi420x: I don't need to be rich, it would just be nice to live in a neighborhood where I could be confident that that noise was definitely fireworks
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@simoncholland: [Produce Aisle] Sir, we're going to have to ask you to leave. *mouthful of like 20 grapes * "That lady took one too!!"
@HungoverLawyer: Ladies: We leave the toilet seat up because we don't want to touch it any more than you do.
@Heldinchains: The older you get the less people you can actually tolerate. I can tolerate about 5 people right now, 3 are my children and even that's iffy