@GloGurL: I don't normally cook. How much vodka do you add to the mashed potatoes?
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@CulturedRuffian: ODE TO TWITTER 🎶Twinkle, twinkle little star, How I wonder where you are, Twitter changed you to a heart, I don't think they're very smart🎶
@Merman_Melville: At my funeral the priest will throw my corpse into the crowd and whoever catches it will be the next to die
@YouWillGo2Hell: Every time you do a shot of tequila, an angel hi-fives a fairy and they agree to meet later to kick you in the head while you're sleeping.
@Darlainky: I got paprika once in 2002 to make deviled eggs and apparently I bought a lifetime supply.