@jake_lach: I don't punish the dog for eating my unattended food because I do the same thing to other people
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@squirrel74wkgn: I'm not sure who's more drunk, me or the guy wrapped in Christmas lights standing in the mirror.
@freshestginger: *Librarian walks in* You know what's great kids? You don't need wifi to read a book! *Kids boo* *Someone in the crowd yells "NERD"*
@owlcity: If I walk you home and kiss you goodnight, a simple thank you will suffice. None of this calling the cops crap.