@jake_lach: I don't punish the dog for eating my unattended food because I do the same thing to other people
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@samfromks: If you wear a man bun in a dimly lit restaurant and I call you ma'am... That's on you.
@Mr_Kapowski: *Boss approaches desk* "What the fu.." Me, wearing paper clip necklace - "See? I knew you'd be mad so I made you one too"
@amazymay72x: sure mugger, run away with my purse holding half used lipstick, 1 tampon, maxed out credit cards n negative bank card. whos laughing now?