@UNTRESOR: I don't really care who wins the elections as long as everyone had fun out there.
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@ArfMeasures: WIFE: You forgot my birthday again didn't you? ME: [putting wrapping paper round the cat] Goddammit, I told you not to turn round yet Janet
@shkeeber: Her: 911, what's your emerge- Me: SOMEONE'S WEARING CROCS! Her: Sir, that's not an em- Me: WITH A FANNY PACK! Her: I'll send an officer.