@jennifereblue: I don't remember all of last night but the fact I needed sunglasses to open the fridge this morning tells me it was awesome!
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@Chumpstring: KIDNAPPER: [on phone] I'm holding your son for ransom. DAD: I have no money, what's the ransom? KIDNAPPER: Bring me one rich kid.
@ComeHome4Dinner: *pulls shirt back down* I guess I don't understand what a flash mob actually is.
@WittySassBasket: I'm most freaked when I take the dog out after dark and remember it's stupid white girls like me that are killed first in horror movies.
@jctwritesstuff: Me: It's late. Go to sleep. Brain: K. Me: Brain: Me: *kinda dozing off* Brain: WHY WOULD HORSES EVEN TRY TO PUT AN EGG BACK TOGETHER?