@meganamram: I don't remember anything about being born, I must have been WASTED
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@jenstatsky: A guy who wears a ring is always a dealbreaker. If it's on his ring finger, he's married. If it's not, he's a guy who wears rings.
@Leemanish: I get home late, dead tired, & see my name in big, bloody letters on the bedroom wall - & I'm like, nope, I will deal w/ THIS in the morning
@samalmightysam: -Knock Knock! -Who is it? -The love of your life. - :) Really? -Hahahaha no, it's the pizza you ordered.