@markleggett: I don't see any former child prodigies/spelling bee champions solving any of the world's problems. Thanks for nothing, you little burn-outs.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@boring_as_heck: MISSING: SUPER ADORABLE PUPPY. WILL COME IF YOU PLAY WU-TANG HELLA LOUD. THIS IS NOT A PLOY TO GET THE NEIGHBORHOOD BUMPIN', THE DOG IS REAL
@MsFoxIfUrNasty: I'm not getting enough attention when I go out so I'm gonna wear a tight spandex suit w/ my underpants on the outside. --Superman, probably
@The_JRM: 5yo: [crying] I teddy at home! He'll be sad that I abandoned them! Me: Want to call him & apologize? 5: You don't have his phone number.
@_ElvishPresley_: Bat 1: Do you ever think God made us blind so that we may see the world for what it truly is? Bat 2: (startled) who said that