@markleggett: I don't see any former child prodigies/spelling bee champions solving any of the world's problems. Thanks for nothing, you little burn-outs.
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@bmarked21: From now on when people forcefully show me pictures of their baby, I'm simply going to reply, "Hmm... I've seen better."
@UrFavAsianGuy: Sorry girls, I'm no Bruno Mars, I won't catch a grenade for you. In fact, if such situation ever happened, I'd use you as a human shield.
@iGreenMonk: I've been charged with murder for killing a man with sandpaper. Honest, I only meant to rough him up a bit.