@forbidd13909361: I don't see enough dead people.
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@TheHyyyype: [first day as a detective] ME: omg nothing but his skeleton is left! OTHER DETECTIVE: this is a halloween store. the dead guy's over there
@JLazySAngus: Customer Service: "Would you take a minute to fill out this survey?" Me: "Wouldn't you rather save that for someone you actually helped?"
@jsam1126: A guy on the street just said "nice feet" to me can someone tell me seriously if that was a cat call?