@forbidd13909361: I don't see enough dead people.
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@juliussharpe: I don't have a problem with steroids in sports since I think anyone who can give themselves a shot is the bravest person in the world.
@bridger_w: If someone acts shocked that you haven't read a certain book, the best response you can give them is, "Yeah, I heard it sucks"
@david8hughes: [watches you eat my bday cake] "I've poisoned that." "Haha very [clasps chest & begins panting] w-with what?" [leans in & winks] "Poison."
@SpencerLenox: A mattress will double in weight after six years, just like everything else I sleep with!