@christinawilder: I don't smoke, so I take "screaming" breaks at work.
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@dafloydsta: Fun game: if someone wants to shake your hand, sniff your fingers first and then see if they still want to.
@ericsshadow: ATTORNEY: my client would like to confess ME: i sell human organs on the black market JUDGE [who needs a kidney transplant]: tell me more
@AGStr8upNinja: Finding a date on the internet is so much easier than real life because how are they supposed to know that's not your Ferrari?