@nPhelendriqal: I don't smoke to be cool, I smoke so no one asks me to hold their baby.
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@AnOrangeSNES: A cannibal passes a Girl Scout cookie stand. "How many girl scouts are these cookies made of?" he asks with a large smile on his face.
@treydayway: I stopped trying to be a thug when I found out there was something called a caramel Frappuccino.
@bourgeoisalien: Holiday tip: remember, you only have a few days left to drop out of people's lives to avoid buying gifts. You're welcome.