@WheelTod: I don't sweat Friday13. I'm not superstitious. I just take off to a nice quiet cabin in the woods, slaughter a pack of teenagers, then chill
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@AmandasNotFunny: I've always wanted to walk into a large room and be the most beautiful woman in there. But I'm scared of Walmarts :(
@AndDesist: I accept your apology. Can I borrow your phone? I need to cancel the hit I put out on you.
@eyeswidebutt: did you write "call Gary in HR for lots of really disappointing and hairy sex" on the bathroom stall? [wearing my "I hate gary" tshirt]: no
@shegotagronk: It's so beautiful outside. I should probably do something...Like close the blinds so there isn't a glare on my computer screen.