@robdelaney: I don’t “take” weed because weed “took” my best friend & trapeze partner Corton from me when we were 17. #ImissYouBrother #SwingWithJesus
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@robfee: Dang girl are you the police on Grand Theft Auto, because 2 minutes after I leave you forget all about me & move on to someone else.
@Cheeseboy22: The greatest joy you can feel as a parent is when you get the call that they've canceled your kid's Saturday sporting event.
@LoriLuvsShoes: When I punish my 16 I don't take away her phone I take away her charger and then I watch the fear in her eyes as her battery dies. It's fun