@LuvPug: I don't think anyone here is a serial killer because you have to be really self motivated and it's like we all just eat snacks and take naps
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@T_Bonezzz_: Nicholson: You want answers?! Cruise: I want the truth!! Nicholson: YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH! Cruise: mmk... how bout a little hint?
@outsmartedmommy: What's for dinner? -A question asked by children who have no intention of eating the answer.
@iamburtjarvis: [2016, cincinnati zoo. boy falls into the enclosure] other gorilla: something brought a boy to the yard harambe [making a milkshake]: SHIT
@iwearaonesie: How much longer? Did you bring any snacks? They want $5 for M&M's! I wanna go home Is it over yet? - me watching my kids Christmas pageant