@onelongbender: I don't think I get enough credit in my family for making my siblings look successful.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@imadepoopstoday: Bring brownies to work. Spend the rest of the day asking coworkers, "you feelin anything yet?"
@geniusindisgize: If you thought the Dalai Lama giggled alot, then you obviously never met the Mwahaharajah
@OhNoSheTwitnt: If Pokémon has taught me anything it's that if I see a cute animal I should force my cat to fight it until it's weak enough to enslave.
@TravLeBlanc: I wanna write a tweet that is so good that I can retire and just live off the retweets for the rest of my life.