@LOUD_Thoughts_: I don't think I'll get married again. I'll just find a woman I don't like and give her a house.
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@Brampersandon_: WAITER: Would you like the usual, Mr Smith? MR SMITH: *all smugly* Do birds fly? *Penguin at the next table slams down his menu*
@PharmerRPh: Judge: "Reason for divorce?" Me: "Reconcilable differences." Judge: "Don't you mean irreconcilable?" Me: "Ugh. You sound just like her."
@LoveNLunchmeat: [Grand Canyon] *His screams echo as he falls to his death* OMG THE ACOUSTICS ARE AMAZING HERE! HOW IS THIS NOT A CONCERT VENUE?