@Seamus_the_Bold: I don't think it's rude to ask someone in an online dating site to send a picture posing with a copy of today's newspaper.
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@XplodingUnicorn: My dog loves me, but he also eats his own poop. I don't think I can trust his judgment.
@MyHairyLife: Subway calling their employees sandwich artists must really piss off people who actually paint sandwiches for a living.
@BabouDali: FOUR RULES FOR DATING MY TEENAGE DAUGHTER: 1) get her home by 11 p.m. 2) so we can chill 3) i have mario party 4) be my friend
@Reverend_Scott: [Fortune Teller] "I see great wealth, also danger." Oh. "And blue meth. Walt Jr. is crippled." Are you watching Breaki- "Jesse is so hot."