@Seamus_the_Bold: I don't think it's rude to ask someone in an online dating site to send a picture posing with a copy of today's newspaper.
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@pleatedjeans: [cruising down highway in friend's car with windows down] me: [opens bag of glitter]
@Darlainky: If you missed any of the most recent presidential debate, you can catch one side of it on any given Facebook friend's page.
@Cheeseboy22: I'm offended that horses don't put their hooves over their hearts during the National Anthem when they win a gold in equestrian events.