@weinerdog4life: I don't think my blind date was blind, she read the menu and caught the basketball I threw at her
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@Reverend_Scott: "My Ex is amazing in all ways. My Ex is smarter, more successful, and more attractive than I am." - bumper sticker I put on my Ex's car
@thatUPSdude: Devil: I want your soul! Me: Not for sale! Devil: Name your price. Me: Fix all my typos. Devil: Too much work, keep your soul.