@jasonroeder: I don't think my neighbor knows my rule about not interacting unless we're both pointing at the same tornado.
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@HatfieldAnne: “Service Dog, Do Not Pet.” We're sure this means me? Should we ask the dog? We should ask the dog.
@Iwriteforcats: Her: Wanna "lex" tonight? Him: What's that? Her: Lazy sex. Him: What do we do? Her: Lay in bed and send each other Huffington Post articles.
@sageboggs: I'm glad I learned about parallelograms instead of how to do taxes. It's really come in handy this parallelogram season
@InternetHippo: me: i just love traveling! my basketball coach: that’s what i want to talk to you about