@RealFartShady: I don't think none of Christopher Nolan's ex girlfriends know how the hell it ended.
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@david8hughes: Therapist: today we're going to do an exercise Me [shifts nervously in seat]: oh, I-uh Therapist: calm down, fatty. Not actual exercise
@RandomManik: Fool me Once - Shame on You. Fool me Twice- Shame on Me. Fool me Thrice- What are you, a Nigerian Scamster?
@sofarrsogud: WIFE: Hurry up or we'll get caught in the rain. ME: [sipping a pina colada] I would like that.