@ryangriffiths: I don't think people understand the potential ramifications when they say to me "just be yourself".
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@weinerdog4life: Someone hired a sloth with a knife to murder me, he's in my driveway, so I have 6-8 months to live
@1followernodad: Can't wait for the google doodle guy to get dumped and make things super personal.
@ermahgarton: me: what's ur favorite thing on the menu waiter: oh definitely the salmon me: oh yes ok i'll have the *orders something that is not salmon*