@Book_Krazy: I don't think 'safe sex' sounds like a very good idea. I mean, what if you get locked in and forget the combination
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@dariatbh: I hope all the friends I've made in the bathroom at 1am are still SO pretty and everything worked out with that boy they were drunk texting
@gobmentcheese: In a crowded elevator, tell all the tall people they have to get in the back because you're going to take a group photo.
@Brampersandon_: MOM: putting him in sports was a bad idea DAD: yup ME (in right field wearing my cup on my face): hey coach look at me I'm Bane lol