@DaddyJew: I don't think the lady who just shushed a baby in the library knows how babies work
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@SufficientCharm: I was doing well on my diet until I got my period and had to eat four pieces of pizza, a block of cheese, two candy bars, and seven houses.
@peachesanscream: To find out your cat name, pick any name at random and refuse to answer to it.
@ipalatsky: Old superstition: When wife laughs at your jokes: It means you have guests in the house.