@DaddyJew: I don't think the lady who just shushed a baby in the library knows how babies work
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@ArfMeasures: THERAPIST: Ever had a job? ME: I once worked at a zoo T: Great! & what did you take from that? ME: Definitely not a penguin T: What M: What
@Darlainky: Separation anxiety is common among toddlers, dogs, and would-be divorcees finding out how much divorcing costs.
@captainkalvis: CUSTOMER: id like buy a turtle, please ME: ok CUSTOMER: and make it quick ME: *grabbing him by the collar* DO I LOOK LIKE GOD TO YOU