@DaddyJew: I don't think the lady who just shushed a baby in the library knows how babies work
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@TheMichaelRock: Me: We need to hire smarter people. HR: Why? Me: Is there someone smarter I can talk to about this? HR...
@Juicedballs: [house hunting] Loved that one. Great price & the owner seemed trustworthy HER: It was next to a sewage plant & he had three eyepatches on
@GavinProbably: How did Hitler tie his shoes? In knotsies. (The unfollow button is only a click away)
@dshack8: My wife is so married that she even stopped blowing out the candles on her birthday cake cause she doesn't want me gettin' any ideas.