@DaddyJew: I don't think the lady who just shushed a baby in the library knows how babies work
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@WritePlay: "Why don't you cool it on the dressmaking," I suggested to my wife. "You seamstressed."
@SteveSuckington: I used to brag that my dad worked in the food court. I thought he was a food lawyer. Shoulda wondered why a lawyer would wear a sbarro shirt
@DillDoes: Monkey: "We're not so different" Me: "Did that monkey just talk to me" Monkey: "Monkey noise" Me: "Did it just say 'monkey noise'?"