@KentWGraham: I don’t think this bowl of Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups on my desk is making me as indispensable to the workplace as I had hoped.
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@DrDogMD: CAT: Can u check my blood pressure? DR DOG: *places cuff around cat's neck* Sure CAT: Shouldnt that go on m- DR DOG: *inflating cuff* Ssshhh
@internetluke: "No, no. No! NO!" - guy who invented black ski masks after people started using them for robbing
@AngelaEhh: This liquid diet crap is a scam. I've been drinking beer since last Tuesday and I'm still fat.