@jumpdashark: "I don't think you're ready for this jelly." ~ me talking shit to my peanut butter sandwich.
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@1Bad_Scientist: Neighbor: Help I have a plumbing emergency! Me: *grabs tools* Neighbor is naked and wet Me: um what kind of plumbing are we talking about?
@3sunzzz: *4yo son, crying* I'm sorry! How was I supposed to know I wasn't supposed to cook the macaroni necklace? *sigh* Parenting is hard.
@goldengateblond: Thank you, true crime show, for saying that was a reenactment. I was pretty upset your camera person didn't stop that murder.