@jumpdashark: "I don't think you're ready for this jelly." ~ me talking shit to my peanut butter sandwich.
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@Tuna_Lover: Just spent $243.57 at the grocery store so the check out girl didn't think I was just buying KY and condoms.
@ThisOneSayz: Me: Listen, I brush and I floss!! You won't find anything!! Cop: It's not that kind of cavity search, ma'am.
@FredPollack: I'm 72 minutes in trying to reverse whatever my 3 y/o nephew did in one second to the TV remote.