@Dawn_M_: I don't throw gang signs. I'm Scottish. I throw bricks :)
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@LinajkReturns: So much mascara her eyes got stuck in the closed position. Too bad lipstick doesn't work that way.
@Eightinchgoat: Sorry I tried to strengthen my immune system by asking your wife to breast feed me.
@Reverend_Scott: October 31st, 2187: Sugar is now illegal. Parents search their kid's Halloween bags to make sure the razor blades don't have candy in them.
@AndrewChamings: [proctologist’s office] ME: *unzipping pants nervously* PROCTOLOGIST: You're nervous, that's normal, but please zip my pants back up.