@katiefzack: I don't throw people under the bus because there's a chance they could lay flat in the center and not get hurt, which I'm not okay with.
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@JediGigi: I don't mean to brag but I'm pretty lonely for a girl with an extensive action figure collection AND a fear of rocking chairs.
@byrdie_num_num: Haven't worn a watch in 20+ years. Coincidentally, I haven't poured my drink on the floor when asked for the time in 20+ years.
@KKBowls: I just saw a spider on the wall, I went to hit it -- it just fell and ran away. I was all, 'Oh my God, he knows what I look like.'
@doktorj: ER: Ma'am, are you allergic to any medications? Me: I'm not answering your silly questions until you give me the wifi password.