@TheAlexNevil: I don't trust a restaurant that advertises "Now with more bacon!" because it means they were holding out on me to begin with.
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@JPHaddadio: They should put a statue of me next to the Statue of Liberty so immigrants know the American Dream is hit or miss.
@One_FineMess: A cig takes 7 minutes off your life A piece of bacon takes 9 minutes off your life According to my calculations I should have died in 1812