@Underchilde: I don’t trust anyone who doesn’t count their donuts before leaving a drive-thru.
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@sickipediabot: "70% of the people don't know how to use the superlative degree in English" That's the most stupidest thing that I've ever heard.
@AristotlesNZ: The obvious way to smuggle drugs past a drug sniffing dog would be to hide it in another dog's ass.
@XplodingUnicorn: 4-year-old: *puts on ballerina dress* *puts on ballerina shoes* *puts on ballerina tiara* Me: Who are you supposed to be? 4: A ninja.
@jumpdashark: My friend called me from a private number last night so I just returned the favor by knocking on his door with a ski mask on.