@SergioValenCo: I don't tweet about my boss because I don't wanna be a suspect when he disappears.
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@smickable: "Maybe a nap will cheer me up!" she said knowing full well she'd wake up feeling like a prisoner of war who time traveled in a sack of bees.
@FirstDateStory: "My date took me to a nice restaurant. Our server leaned in to me and said, "You're the third one this week"
@Bagyants: I deactivated my Facebook so I won't know if any bible verses are "so true" for a while.
@_thatigirl: 83 yo man, "You speak pretty good English for a Chinese girl". Me: "I'm caucasian". Him, "Well, any kind of Asian looks Chinese to me".