@TheBoydP: I don’t understand how anyone could be a grave robber. How do you steal a six foot hole?
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@AndrewChamings: [at funeral parlor with bereaved girlfriend] HER: You think these glass urns are a good idea? ME: Remains to be seen.
@Bagyants: If you love something, let it go. From the creators of "If you're tired, go for a run," and "If you're on fire, eat bees"
@Playing_Dad: Me: Wanna hear a joke? Dog: sure Me: Knock knock *dog goes crazy barking at the door*
@vikkaroni: Job interview HR: What's your best asset? Me: I have an excellent memory. HR: Give me an example. Me: Of what?