@KentWGraham: I don't understand how God can have Ten Commandments for the whole world, and my wife can have 152 just for our house.
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@Ygrene: Space Cat: *furious as he knocks items off of a shelf and they just float in place, mocking him*
@vickykhappy: A lady told me that Autism is punishment for the sins of the parent. That is the story of me punching a lady in a church parking lot.
@ibid78: [interview for CIA] Your résumé says you're a master in hand-to-hand wombat. Is that a typo or- *I've already thrown a wombat at his face*
@Momtoteens: When I go see my drug dealer, she makes me lay on a couch and talk to her for an hour first.