@realHamOnWry: I don't understand people who practice polygamy. Why would anyone want more than one mother-in-law?
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@iamspacegirl: Dad Dragon: If we weren't supposed to eat them they wouldn't come w plates and toothpicks now finish ur damn knight Teen Dragon: I hate you
@BillArrundale: Tell a woman she has cute kids and she's all proud. Whisper it to her and she calls the cops.
@KeetPotato: [my dog lays down on my date's lap instead of mine] date: "i had a good time tonight" me: "i think you need to leave"