@causticbob: "I don't understand swimming. You don't see fish going for a walk."
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@HomeProbably: My parents were very inspirational, they used to say: "You can do whatever you want in life, as long as you don't do it here."
@fanofhell: Doctor: what seems to be the problem? Me: I need to be docted Doctor: you came to the right place. I'm a doctor. I doct people
@causticbob: My wife said "You only love me because my father left me a million pounds." "That's not true, I'd still love you whoever left it to you"
@AristotlesNZ: Whenever I'm picking up my wife I skid to a stop by her & yell "Come with me if you want to live!" so she knows she married pure awesomeness