@causticbob: "I don't understand swimming. You don't see fish going for a walk."
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@Rschooley: How dare Beyonce bring symbols of past racial strife into popular music performance!!
@shutupmikeginn: Can't wait for the first bad thing to happen in 2017 so I can post "what is this, 2016?" Ha! Today an on duty seeing eye dog growled at me.
@Sassafrantz: What a beautiful day! The sun's shining, the birds are singing, the neighbor's dog is taking a huge crap on my lawn...
@jonnysun: [puts cone of shame on dog] ME: (to dog) sory buddy DOG: (to all other dogs in neighborhod) BOW DOWN TO LORD FLOFFYTON HEARER OF ALL BARKS