@LaniBeno: I don't understand what you mean by 'stop drinking so much'. How else will you know how much I love you at 2am every day?
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@TheMichaelRock: I'll stop calling you a racist if you stop bragging about all the marathons you run.
@GVNGMiami: Biden: Maybe we make our own country and he won't be invited Obama: Joe Biden: And MAYBE THIS TIME WE CALL IT THE BLACK HOUSE RIGHT BARACK
@SteveOHellNo: People who go to the store and buy the single roll of toilet paper must not have an optimistic view of their life expectancy.
@murrman5: [in car with wife] "did you take $20 from my purse?" *sips $3 coffee* no *gets rear ended and $17 worth of sour candy falls out of glovebox*