@MikeDrucker: I don't understand why everyone is so passionate about sports; it's all just bullsh - HEY! YOU! NO! DARTH VADER DOES NOT HAVE A GREEN SABER!
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@SwedishCanary: I had a call from a charity asking me to donate old clothes for starving people. I told them anybody who fits into my clothes isn't starving
@House_Feminist: If you want my kids to actually act thankful on Thanksgiving serve kraft mac n cheese, goldfish and apple juice.
@carlyken: So how do you stop eating the endless breadsticks at Olive Garden does the restaurant close or are you supposed to bring a spotter with you?