@Cheeseboy22: I don't understand why my coworkers always complain when I microwave my favorite meal: curry salmon stuffed with burnt popcorn.
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@OhNoSheTwitnt: How many people in America do you think I can trick into believing that Brexit is the name of one of Sarah Palin's kids?
@mattZillaaaa: Saw a young couple holding hands today & it reminded me that I need to buy a bottle of vodka
@sirmunchie: Me to my Boss: Excuse me, sir, can I ask a stupid question. Boss: Better than anyone else I know...