@titusbb: I don't understand why people go to the gym all the time... everything there's so heavy.
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@blondediva11: My mom keeps telling me there are plenty of fish in the sea. She REALLY doesn't get me anymore. I. Don't. Want. A. Fish.
@AGreaterMonster: *BUSTS DOWN DOOR* *Fires off jokes* *Kidnappers helpless in laughter* "..and that's how your granpappy saved baby Jesus." - Me, someday
@AlisonChrista: *dies and gets to hell* I really thought I’d lived a good life. *Satan shows me a video of that time I left a shopping cart in the middle of the parking lot at Target when the cart return was 10 feet away* Oh yeah. Fair enough.