@TheDrunkStory: "I don't understand why people try to act drunk. I spend most of my time trying to act sober." - Florida State
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@AnOrangeSNES: Yes Pony Express? I ordered a pony 27 minutes ago and I still didn't get it. What kind of fast food joint do you run here?
@Florescience: *At funeral* "Your Mom is so fat" I said eulogy, not roast. "oh right, I'm sorry. Your mom WAS so fat..."
@gmossii: Every time I put on my striped socks I always have an ominous feeling that today is the day that a house will drop on me.
@sirivan: Everyone makes fun of Aquaman, but he’s got it all figured out. He spends all day chilling in the water. His life is one big pool party.