@SexySpainNights: I don't use extra virgin olive oil cause I want my food to have some experience
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@AristotlesNZ: The obvious way to smuggle drugs past a drug sniffing dog would be to hide it in another dog's ass.
@JohnLyonTweets: I spend a lot of time contemplating the mysteries of life, like why the wall the natives built to keep Kong out had a Kong-sized door in it.
@tarashoe: ah, mercury's going retrograde, that explains why i accidentally squandered my entire youth
@SortaSarcastic: Pick up a book, any book. Open to the middle, and read the first paragraph. Make sense? Welcome to Twitter.