@BigRedKraut: I don't use my hands when I change my tampon. I just sing a jaunty tune and the Disney birds come in and begrudgingly do it for me.
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@Adar79Angie: "You can't build your own man." They told me. But they underestimate my low standards. And my shopping cart full of luncheon meats.
@TheMichaelRock: Only attractive people that get laid all the time troll people on the internet. Everybody knows that.
@RadOrDie: I wouldn't mind getting arrested today because I'm having a great hair day and my mug shot would be fabulous.