@rzarosco: I dont use one of those unfollower sites like a psycho. I use my handwritten list of followers and crosscheck it daily like a NORMAL PERSON!
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@Scorpio1080: Black Friday: Because Only in America, People trample others for Sales the day after being thankful for what they already have
@rockymomax: [Jesus entering surf contest] Judge: What type of board will you be riding? Jesus: [looks at feet] They're using boards?
@johnbcrist: I just texted a friend a super hilarious meme and all he did was give it a thumbs up. I've never been more angry.
@That_Damn_Duck: My cat is walking a very fine line between being cute & being sold to the Korean restaurant down the street.