@kelkulus: I don't usually cry from onions, but this one's story is so inspirational.
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@ComedicBust: Prevent your neighbors from ever awkwardly waving at you again by hanging a Russian flag today.
@TomSchally: It's that time of year again when I should really check in on my friends with pools or boats to see how they’ve been since last summer.
@craigrachel: The dogboner /Neil degrasse Tyson situation has been an elaborate ruse all so Michael hale could claim on gawker that he has a girlfriend
@ixix82: Me: "Relax. Make conversation, let them get to know you." Also Me: "The longest tape worm ever found inside a human body was 82' in length."