@Jasmin_Tatts: I don't usually spank the kids while we're in Walmart but yours were just asking for it.
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@turtledumplin: Before he leaves for work, my husband whispers the 3 words I love to hear him say... "I made coffee"
@38percentsure: "I'm half black and I'm trying to decide who I want to have kids with. Do I want them to have every advantage in life, or be able to dance?"
@WheelTod: I always carry a condom in my wallet in case a date goes unexpectedly well & I need to impress her with my balloon animals skills.