@Jasmin_Tatts: I don't usually spank the kids while we're in Walmart but yours were just asking for it.
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@amazymay72x: Once again, overheard my 13yo tell someone that I was born in the 1900s. Now I want to hide under the covers and stab all her teddy bears.
@crunchenhancer: Women are like campfires. Beautiful, hot, smell great, warm your heart. And, both don't like it if you pee on them. Mostly.
@Matt_the_1st: It just occurred to me that you could substitute Miranda rights for wedding vows. Verbatim
@MdUNH: I can't take the time to exercise but I did some killer cardio pacing indecisively in front of the Ben & Jerry's section of the supermarket.