@slimmy_shady: I don't want a boyfriend. Just someone to call me beautiful, love me right, and fix the clogged drain in my bathtub. Mostly the drain thing.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@heatherlou_: Got 3 boxes of tampons, Midol & Ibuprofen at the store. Checker was so scared he paid for my shit & carried it out for me.
@oxygenplug: *you see a bear approaching you* Quick play dead! *bears comes running up* Oh god! OH GOD! What's happening!? Wake up! WHO DID THIS TO YOU!?
@Darlainky: Your Honor, these 52 selfies on my clients phone at the precise moment of the crime prove that my client can only be guilty of narcissism.