@robfee: I don't want a Hot Pocket. I'd rather have a pocket with a nice sense of humor & a pleasant personality.
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@WhaJoTalkinBout: It's World Breastfeeding Week and, honestly, babies need to eat more often than that.
@TheClingyGF: If you're not cheating on me, then why won't you let me install surveillance cameras in your house.
@UncleDuke1969: Me: Leonard Nimoy died today. Co-worker: From Star Wars? *goes home* Wife: How was your day? Me: Leonard Nimoy and a co-worker died today.