@robfee: I don't want a Hot Pocket. I'd rather have a pocket with a nice sense of humor & a pleasant personality.
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@DecantAndPour: I drink a glass of red wine a day for health benefits. The other 7 glasses are just for me.
@thesulk: Whenever teachers say 'show your work', just write a bunch of numbers down and hope they're tired that night.
@moooooog35: Me: My wife got me a telescope for Christmas. Neighbor: Nice. I got- Me: I know. I watched you guys open everything.
@AnkCoupleTO: [speaking at an AA meeting] Me: You'll find the transition from hard liquor to hard drugs expensive, but very rewarding *everyone cheers*