@sexypitabread: "I don't want no scrubs" a doctor says before she violates, like, a TON of health codes
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@fanofhell: For your final meal request to eat the electric chair and then the warden will be like well now what do we do he ate our electric chair
@cray_at_home_ma: Me, to all my kids before the age of 2. "No screens allowed." On their 2nd birthday, handing over iPad. "This is your mother now."
@michaelianblack: All those guys who refuse to marry their girlfriends until everybody has the right to marry must be shitting their pants.