@sexypitabread: "I don't want no scrubs" a doctor says before she violates, like, a TON of health codes
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@GinGander: I watched her squeeze into the booth, finish 3 Egg McMuffins, & stand-up. "My knees are killing me, it must be the cold weather," she said.
@plumbur: I'm convinced that my washing machine is a portal to a world where one-legged men hop around in my socks.
@StoferComic: An argument with my wife is like the gas pedal on a Prius. I can put my foot down, but I don't really expect much to happen...
@Book_Krazy: Hub: Let's go see a movie Me: Ok. How bout this one? *points* H: Why do we have to see a movie with subtitles? I didn't do anything wrong.