@sexypitabread: "I don't want no scrubs" a doctor says before she violates, like, a TON of health codes
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@SmurfetteDE: Hey people - learn to spell!!! I mean my co-workers. Twitter, you guys actually do pretty well, considering half of you are probably drunk.
@notacroc: Date: wanna get out of here? Me: let me just tie my shoe *realizes i don't know how to tie my shoes* how bout another round of spaghetti
@jakob_huber: "I hate hashtags!" Dad screams as he smashes his #1 Dad coffee mug against a wall.